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Nov. 12th, 2007 | 01:17 am

I climb to fall.

Desire. It is such a strong entity. It has many savory qualities. The power to create, enhance, renew, embolden. But it also has many pitfalls. It can overpower, enrage, destroy, depreciate. It can really fuck with your mind if you let it. Much of this culture is consumed by hedonistic tendencies that desire most often leads to addiction.

Sex. It is completely natural. At the same time it is so guarded and regulated in society. The intention is to protect, but it only hurts. Like drinking. So many young adults and adolescents in this culture die from a binging episode unconsciously meant to be a big "fuck you" to the man for having the highest drinking age in the world. Sex is no different. Sex went from procreation and passion between two lovers to a highly competitive hobby, now contaminated by AIDS and other STD's.

Desire and sex. Intuitively, they should govern a relationship, but government has turned to anarchy. No one is ever satisfied. Constant ruminations that there must be something more to this life cloud people's perception of what is right in front of them. They get carried away by desire and branch out, wanting sex from various places. Maybe someone else has a bigger penis, another still could be more fit, or maybe, Mr. tall, dark and handsome is abound (but it wasn't that guy, or that other guy, or the one that's on top of me right now).

Relationships. A great fictional concept. When all your so-called friends are victims of desire and sex that you let yourself be blind-sided too, how could there be relationships? There is a constant push to keep moving on, never having that constant. It can be a rush, and the single life may look appealing when 'everyone else is doing it.' But where does that put you in 10 years? When landmark birthdays that were worth celebrating have long since been past. When your body has started to die and feel regret for not having a family. A partner, a kid, a dog, perhaps? Where does it put you in 5 years even? You are already past your sexual prime (for men). That rush that you wanted to feel forever, maybe not so much anymore. That bitch called desire will turn its back.

A year? When others start to get settled in to what they think will be relationships and have left you in the dust again. When you've slept through many people and realize someone worth having was lost along the way. When it's too late to go back. When you want more than just sex. You want to see the world, breathe the air, enjoy life as you have it and get out of that paranoid rut that has you searching in and out of body cavity after body cavity looking for what you will never find.

The pleasure of company. What a novel idea. But where is good company? Social relationships (friends, acquaintances) aggregate around that seeking behavior. Your single finds pressure you to assist them in their search. The other friends pressure you to engage in that search for yourself. The world is predator chasing predator, though not everyone wants the same prey. I'm tired of that world.

All your twisted thoughts free flow
To everlasting memories
Show soul
Kiss the stars with me
And dread the wait for
Stupid calls returning us to life
We say to those who are in love
It can't be true 'cause we're too young
I know that's true because
So long I was
So in love with you
So I thought...

A year goes by
And I can't talk about it

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from: whampcansee
date: Nov. 26th, 2007 03:35 am (UTC)

hope you are well

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